REIMU HAKUREI: User Guide and Manual
by LawfulInsane
Summary: A basic manual on how to care for your new destitute armpit miko. Based on Touhou and whoever started this trend of user manuals. I only own this story.


**A/N: Touhou belongs to ZUN. Credits to him and whoever came up with the user manual trend.**

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 **REIMU HAKUREI: USER GUIDE AND MANUAL**

Congratulations! You are now in possession of a fully-automated REIMU HAKUREI unit! Please be sure to read this instruction manual to make the most out of your purchase.

 **WARNING:** With the delivery of this unit, you should have signed a waiver saying that we, at Yuyu Co. are not responsible for any personal injury, death, damage to property or poverty-by-excessive-forced-donations caused by failure to read and abide by these instructions.

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 **TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:**

 **Name** : Reimu Hakurei. May respond to "the red-white", but this usually results in injury dealt to the speaker by the REIMU HAKUREI unit. Also responds to "Miko", but if you have a SANAE KOCHIYA unit or a TOYOSATOMIMI NO MIKO unit around, they will get confused over who the speaker is referring to. Thus, it is preferable to call your REIMU HAKUREI unit "Reimu" or something of the sort.

 **Gender** : Female.

 **Apparent Age** : Appears to be in her teens.

 **Height** : Average for a teenage Japanese female. May, however, vary a little.

 **Hair Color** : Black or dark brown, depending on the lighting.

 **Eye Color** : Brown.

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 **Your REIMU HAKUREI unit comes with** :

1 red hair bow

1 red and white "armpit miko" outfit

1 broom (Keep it away from any MARISA KIRISAME units.)

2 Hakurei Yin-Yang Orbs (Touching them is inadvisable. Your REIMU HAKUREI unit may use these to fight.)

Infinite ofuda (Does not come in the packaging. A REIMU HAKUREI unit automatically summons them into her hands and uses them to attack whenever she needs to. We at Yuyu Co. will not reveal the details, as it is a company secret.)

1 donation box (DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, BREAK IT. We at Yuyu Co. are not responsible for any injury or death caused by our units.)

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 **PROGRAMMING:**

Your REIMU HAKUREI unit is highly skilled and can do many things:

1) Shrine maiden: Your REIMU HAKUREI unit excels at shrine maiden duties, like sweeping floors and exorcising demons. However, you may need to deactivate LAZY MODE (see below) to get it to do work.

2) Flying: Your REIMU HAKUREI unit can fly in the sky like most other units in the TOUHOU SERIES by Yuyu Co.

3) Solving incidents with danmaku. Danmaku is essentially knockout magic, and attacks are more an art show than actually trying to defeat your opponent. Your REIMU HAKUREI unit will use danmaku to solve what she refers to as "incidents". What constitutes an incident varies, and we at Yuyu Co. are not responsible for any property damage, injury or death resulting from a REIMU HAKUREI unit in INCIDENT MODE (see below).

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 **Removal of your REIMU HAKUREI unit from packaging** :

1) Shake coins next to the box. She will immediately burst out of the packaging and grab for the coins. Do not use if you do not want to lose your coins.

2) Get a SUIKA IBUKI unit near the box. The REIMU HAKUREI unit will open the box, see the SUIKA unit and immediately begin berating her for freeloading.

3) Get a MARISA KIRISAME unit near the box. REIMU HAKUREI and MARISA KIRISAME are on relatively friendly terms, so your REIMU HAKUREI unit will climb out of the box and start conversing with the MARISA. If you let them converse for too long, however, the MARISA KIRISAME unit will steal anything she deems useful in the vicinity and run off, reverting to normal MARISA behavior.

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 **Reprogramming** :

After successfully awakening your REIMU HAKUREI unit, you have the option to reprogram her. The modes are as follows:

 _Lazy_ (default)

 _Shrine Maiden_ (default)

 _Donations Please!_ (permanent)

 _Incident_ (locked)

 _Irritated_ (locked)

 _Hax Sign_ (locked)

Your unit is incredibly lazy, but less so than our KOMACHI ONOZUKA or HONG MEILING units, hence the default LAZY setting. She will slack around, but uses minimal resources, like if she was in poverty.

In SHRINE MAIDEN mode, REIMU HAKUREI will sweep floors and drink tea, observing standard shrine maiden practices. It is possible for LAZY and SHRINE MAIDEN to be active at the same time, which leads to a unit doing work half-heartedly.

DONATIONS PLEASE is always on and cannot be turned off. Your REIMU HAKUREI unit will regularly ask others for donations to her shrine, and is incredibly greedy and money-grubbing. She will force donations out of almost everybody she sees until she is satisfied. Once again, we at Yuyu Co. are not responsible for poverty caused by a REIMU HAKUREI unit in DONATIONS PLEASE mode.

INCIDENT mode is locked and is only active when something she deems an "incident" occurs, and she will fly away to beat up whoever is responsible. In this situation, her LAZY mode is off and cannot be turned on until she has solved the incident.

IRRITATED is locked and can only be unlocked if something bad has happened, like a TENSHI HINANAWI unit destroying her donation box. She will beat up not just those responsible, but EVERYONE in her way until she calms down.

HAX SIGN is only unlocked when an EXTREMELY dire threat to the safety of others or herself is near (or she's been irritated beyond IRRITATED mode). In this mode, she will call one of three cards: "Hax Sign: Burn Everything", "Hax Sign: You Just Plain F***ing Lose" or "Hax Sign: Fantasy Heaven". Your REIMU HAKUREI unit is completely invincible in this state and the best way to survive her attacks is to be somewhere else. Once again, we at Yuyu Co. are not responsible for any property damage, death or injury caused by a REIMU HAKUREI unit.

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 **Shipping Function:**

All of Yuyu Co's Touhou Series units have a Shipping Function, which can be activated by the owner. Then, your REIMU HAKUREI unit will become attached to any other Touhou Series units that have their Shipping Function on as well. This leads to the two units becoming essentially a couple, for all you shippers out there. Any and all combinations are possible, as we at Yuyu Co. know that fans will ship anything and everything with each other.

 **Relations with other units** :

MARISA KIRISAME: May become an extremely annoying friend to your REIMU unit, but they will be lifelong true companions (even if your REIMU unit is in IRRITATED MODE often due to your MARISA's antics).

SUIKA IBUKI: Will befriend one, but will constantly berate the SUIKA unit for freeloading.

YUKARI YAKUMO: The YUKARI unit will start trolling the REIMU with her gap abilities, including peeking on her in the shower. Despite this, they will become allies (begrudgingly, in the case of the REIMU HAKUREI unit).

RINNOSUKE MORICHIKA: Your REIMU HAKUREI unit is friends with RINNOSUKE, and will talk like normal friends do. However, if a REIMU buys from a RINNOSUKE, the REIMU will not pay him any money, resulting in RINNOSUKE becoming irritated. If the RINNOSUKE unit is in KOURIN (aka "Mannosuke") mode, like all other units, your REIMU unit will avoid him at all costs unless they have become a couple due to the Shipping Function.

SANAE KOCHIYA: SANAE and REIMU are friendly rivals. They do things friends would, but will be extremely competitive about incidents and shrine-maiden duties.

GENJI: REIMU is on very good terms with GENJI, and will call him "gramps".

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 **Cleaning:**

Your unit is perfectly capable of cleaning herself. However, her use of water is minimal due to REIMU's stinginess.

 **Feeding** :

Your unit is perfectly capable of cooking for herself and others.

 **Sleeping** :

As a normal human.

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 **FAQ** :

Q: My house is in ruins! Everything has been destroyed!

A: Something put your REIMU HAKUREI unit into HAX SIGN mode. However, we at Yuyu Co. are not responsible for any property damage caused by our units. We apologise.

Q: I saw my REMILIA SCARLET unit beaten up by my REIMU!

A: Your REMILIA unit probably released scarlet mist again. Scarlet mist is one of the things a REIMU HAKUREI unit considers an incident.

 **Troubleshooting** :

Problem: Instead of a black/brown-haired, armpit-exposing shrine maiden, you receive a similar unit with standard shrine maiden clothing and purple hair who cannot fly.

Solution: Oops! We accidentally sent you a PC-98 REIMU HAKUREI unit instead! A younger version of our REIMU HAKUREI unit, she has purple hair and cannot fly, relying on a GENJI unit to fly instead.

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With a lot of donations and caution, you'll find your REIMU HAKUREI unit to be a valuable companion. We wish you luck, and hope you enjoy your unit! Until you get in her way during an incident.


End file.
